Two Ears, One Mouth

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Two Ears, One Mouth

Two ears, one mouth. Hmmm 🤔 Ryan, what does that even mean, guy? Well, you curious and wonderful reader of mine...I’m glad you asked.

two ears, one mouth

I saw this quote the other day and it absolutely blew my mind.

When I graduated college, I thought I knew everything. I had just launched a business and felt like I was invincible. And I made sure everyone around me knew it, too.

I would go on and on about how great our business was doing and how awesome it was that I got to drink for a living.

I would rant and rave about all the cool events we were throwing and how I got to meet famous artists and rage with celebrities every night.

People would try to get a word in and tell me about their life, what they were up to, and I would immediately one-up whatever they had to say.

“That’s cool, man. Good for you. But have you met, [Insert Lame Celebrity Name Here]? He’s epic, dude. I got to kick it with him in the VIP lounge last week and we raged together all night. It was legendary…”

big bang theory

What a joke. I hate that guy and I was that guy.

Let me tell you something in which took me years to figure out. The loudest guy in the room is usually the most insecure.

The person flaunting money around is usually the one who doesn’t have it. And, the person who claims he’s on top of the world and knows everything is almost always lying.

The only thing claiming you know everything does is prove you don’t know everything. I know this to be true because I was that guy for a long time.

adam sandler

I’ve learned more in the last year than all my years in college combined – and no, not because I’m all of the sudden some amazing scholar who is full of self-proclaimed knowledge and has life all figured out.

I’ve learned more this last year because I listen more than I speak.

What a concept.

I mean, think about it.

Have you ever noticed how humans tend to fill dead time in conversations or in the office by rambling on about how great their life is or how much they know about Bitcoin?

Come on, dude. If you know that much about Bitcoin, shouldn’t you be traveling around the world on a private jet with 8 supermodels flashing around all your stacks of cash? (Sorry, saw an Instagram video of some guy doing this and couldn’t resist throwing it in here).

Maybe I’m being a little extreme, and overly critical, but you get what I’m saying, right?

I mean how many times have you overheard a conversation of some guy going on some rant about a topic we can't even pronounce, just to show the room how smart he is?

It’s exhausting.

And I’m sorry if you are this guy but I’m allowed to call you out because I used to be that guy, too.

I cringe every time I think about moments in my life where I went on rants about topics I knew nothing about, just to make my voice heard.

Imagine how much I could’ve learned if I just stayed quiet and listened to what people had to say. I think about how different things could’ve been if I wasn’t so insecure and always had to prove myself to everyone.

I’d be willing to argue that if everyone listened twice as much as they speak, the world would be a lot less noisy 😉

mind blown

Lewis Howes, Author of The Mask of Masculinity, calls this tendency, “the need to fill the void with the sound of your own voice – the Know-It-All Mask."

Yep. I wore that mask for a long time. But, not anymore.

Once life hit me dead in the face and all the lies I was telling for years caught up with me - I realized fairly quickly that I actually didn’t know what the hell I was talking about.

So, I decided to stop being that guy and finally listen to the people around me.

Life’s all about perspective.

Perspective and learning that our way of thinking is not the only way is vital to our growth as humans. People all around us have a story to tell in which we can maybe learn from if we care to listen.

Why don’t we just be honest with ourselves for a moment?

None of us have any idea what the hell we’re doing. We’re all just going off our current best guess.

And that’s tough to admit, especially for men. We’re supposed to have it all figured out and know exactly what we’re supposed to be doing at all times.

Not knowing what you’re doing reveals weakness, and society doesn’t allow us to be weak.

Well isn’t that a load of crap (sorry, mom). But, how the heck are we supposed to learn things if we can't admit we don’t know how to do them?

Wouldn’t it be a heck of a lot easier if we listened to other people and learned from their mistakes?

Stephen Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, said it best... 

leadership

Well said, Stephen. I completely understand you.

Now, let me be clear.

I certainly do not have all the answers now, nor am I claiming that I have it all figured out.

But, I have learned a lot this last year. And instead of focusing on what I do know, I try to focus on what I still need to learn.

And that keeps me moving forward. I realize now that I will always be a student and I will always ask questions when I don’t know the answer because that’s the only way I know how to learn.

I realize, now, that every person I meet is better than me at something - so that means there’s an opportunity to learn something I didn’t know before.

And that has truly made all the difference.

So, this is me dropping the mic and letting you, reader, take it away from here. Teach me your ways...please? 🙏

That’s all I got for now – stay tuned, friends.

✌🏻

#Lost20Something

 

 


3 comments

  • Gary Eby MSW (Retired)

    TU Ryan for your support of my spiritual work on Instagram. Best wishes for the success of your hopes, dreams, and goals. (author of Reflections: A Journey to God)

  • Ryan

    Thank you, Samantha!! So very kind of you. Hope you have an awesome day :)

  • Samantha Layton

    Great blog. So honest and insightful. Keep up the great work! 😊👌🏻

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